PLAYER INTRO
My love of sports began with basketball. I had played soccer and stayed active, but really began intentionally playing sports when I found basketball. From rec leagues through middle and high school, I got the unique opportunity to play at the JV level at an NCAA Division III program. Our coaching staff there introduced me to weight lifting as a way to not just strengthen my body, but to supplement my performance as an athlete.
Since freshman year, other sports have grabbed my attention, including volleyball and ninja warrior especially. One of the characteristics that has really allowed me to grow as an athlete and extended to my life as a counselor, husband, and parent is determination: overcoming fear to do what is needed.
GAMEPLAN
As an athlete in middle and high school, fear dictated what I did on the court. I was new to basketball, and I was scared of looking silly or making a mistake. Predictably, that led to making the mistakes that I dreaded.
During the final timeout of a rec league game, the other team had possession down 2. There were a couple seconds left in the game, and my coach gave me an assignment to "guard number 3."
I froze.
For whatever reason, the simple instruction didn't click, and I just stood on the court with the coach yelling at me to guard number 3, until #3 himself yelled for me to guard him.
Jumpshots were my go-to in my early days of playing basketball; they were low-risk endeavors. We're only expected to make them about half the time at best, so missing wouldn't be too embarrassing. I also wouldn't have to dribble or pass, and risk losing the ball.
I ended taking tons of bad shots, and shooting a lot of airballs, because my fear of making a mistake kept me from making the right play.
Credit to the coaching staff at Covenant College for coaching character as well as basketball skills. Without their support to develop a determination to make the right play and drill the skills I needed, I would still be the same fear-driven player.
Instead, upper classmen teammates and coaches showed me how to step into the weight room with guys who were way bigger and more experienced than I was, and learn the same lifts they were doing. Coaches taught me to gather myself and survey the court before making a move. Emphasizing the process of becoming better helped me to become better, and also changed my mindset; instead of comparing my current production (in terms of weight lifted or performance on the court) to others, I could focus on expanding my skillset and reconditioning my fear to become determination to make the right play.
Growing in determination opened up the possibility of putting myself out there in different sports and in lifting, which has reversed the pattern for me. Instead of constricting myself to one skill (shooting) based on my fear of messing up, I could begin to develop skills in other areas of the court, explore other sports, and try new lifts, all of which expanded my game in return.
I have a huge fear of heights, but now this practiced trait of determination to make the right play has empowered me to jump off of and climb up tall obstacles, especially the famous 14.5 foot high warped wall.
In one recent session, we had to reset the bar from 14.5' back to its lower height. Standing on a foam block leaning against the warped wall 8 or 9 feet off the ground, I battled and overcame my fear of heights to be able to reset that bar where it needed to be. While the block wavered under my feet as I stood up straight, handled a metal bar, and squatted down, fear did not get to drive me anymore.
Every time I push past my fear of failure to complete one more rep, to sprint back down the floor one more time, or to lay out to win a possession, my mind and body practice determination to make the right play, not the easy play. Every time my determination was rehearsed on the court or in the weight room, I was also practicing determination to make the right play in my marriage and in my parenting.
Determination translates to other areas of life; as a counselor, I need to be able to confront difficult conversations; as a husband, I need to be able to humble myself to serve my wife and apologize when I make a mistake; ditto for parenting.
Without having built up this trait of determination to make the right play over years of playing sports, I would still be driven by fear. Every time the "right play" is to take a hard action such as apologizing for my impatience or lack of communication, I've trained to overcome the fear of being wrong or having messed up.
Confronting clients on inconsistencies between what they say and what they do can also induce anxiety in counselors. Sometimes, it's just easier to let those inconsistencies sit there instead of having that difficult conversation. If fear drives my counseling, however, that client who keeps saying they will change their parenting style, communication habits, or addictive behavior without making any changes, will never benefit from seeing me.
Only by stepping up past my fear can I expect my client to do the same.
EXECUTION
Today's skill can be an intimidating exercise. As I'm in the process of completing my Kettlebell Coaching Certification, I encourage you to step past the scary name of the Deadlift to learn the Hip Hinge and Kettlebell Deadlift to develop power and strength throughout your body
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