Player Intro
Josiah began playing soccer in third grade as his primary sport. He loved the opportunity to be outside and be on a team. He began playing basketball in sixth grade, and began playing sports more seriously. He played both soccer and basketball on travel teams from middle school up until high school, when he tried out for the school team in both sports. He ended up being cut from soccer, and focused his efforts on success on the basketball court. He played high school basketball for three years, playing varsity his junior year. He chose to not play his senior year, and transitioned to playing club basketball at college. Josiah has always often been chosen as a leader on most of the teams he has played for, and shares with us how those leadership qualities, discovered and grown through sport, have impacted his work, his parenting, and his life.
Josiah's exact words have been transcribed as accurately as possible. Some changes have been made to emphasize clarity and continuity of his narrative.
Gameplan
pD: How did you choose to not play basketball in your senior year?
JD: I'll say that basketball for me, especially those pivotal junior and senior years, came at a time of identity crisis for me. I was at the point where I couldn't find purpose in anything; I was doing well in school and sports, there was nothing more I could ask for, but I really had a difficult time finding purpose in the midst of all those things.
At that point, basketball was no longer enjoyable for me anymore, because there was no more purpose, no more drive to really care about what was going on. It seemed more like work, and at the exact same time, I was dealing with a lot of difficulties with self-esteem, self-worth, and self-value. I couldn't find any of that because I didn't have any purpose. For me, it became a clear thing that maybe it's time to quit basketball and spend my time looking for what purpose and meaning look like in my life.
My purpose is to glorify God
That's when I became very serious about my faith, and so I realized that I had a purpose, and I realized that my purpose was to glorify God. So because that became my purpose, that also gave me value, so it addressed both parts of what I was really struggling with; so when I realized I had value, I had purpose, it became about more than basketball. I was able to enjoy it again because it wasn't the end-all, be-all of things. Having that purpose freed me up to enjoy it again because the most important lesson that sports have taught me is that there's more to life than sports. Which is kind of ironic, but that's what led me to have a much better relationship with sports and my life in general.
pD: So how has your view of sports changed, especially between that pivotal senior year when you chose not to play basketball? What was your view of sports like before compared to after your senior year?
JD: Junior year, sports to me were a relief, away from the stress of everything else. Sports was a place where I could turn it off, where I could think about something I really enjoyed and valued, and something that made sense. When you're in high school, a lot of things don't make sense; and you don't really understand the world. I don't claim to understand the world now, but for me, sports just made sense.
I had the opportunity to encourage other people
When you're playing within a system, have a really disciplined offense, there's just a structure and a rhythm to it that was very appealing. For me, that was something I really, really enjoyed. The other thing that I really enjoyed and found pride in was that I had the opportunity to encourage other people, which in sports doesn't always seem like a very critical part of the team.
What I ended up finding out was that on almost every travel basketball and soccer team, in high school for two of three years, and club basketball, I was elected the captain for the majority of the time. I would always be a little bit confused because I was not better than other players from a skill perspective, but what it boiled down to was this level of encouragement, that I was always able to bring out the best in people and navigate sports in a way that I would try to be as selfless as possible. From there I realized that I'm bringing out the best in myself and the best in other people. For me, that encouragement was something that I was really good at, and sports really brought that out in me and expanded my ability to do that, and was something I really enjoyed.
The other thing that was really prevalent in my sports life was the ability to connect with people. Guys have a tendency to not really connect on as deep a level, and finding ways to really deeply connect with people, which is so important, is not necessarily an easy task. So basketball became a platform for me to do that and really get to know people, and really hone in on my people skills. That has served me really well.
As a quick example, I spent a year in Richmond after I graduated college doing nonprofit work in the inner city of Richmond, a city that has an amazing basketball culture. The amount of people I was able to meet just by being able to connect through a sport was just amazing, and to connect on such a deeper level than if I just saw them at a grocery store or walking down the street. There's a certain level of respect and understanding that comes along with the sport that has really served me well beyond just basketball. So those are the two things I really enjoyed and that I don't think would have been present if basketball had not been in my life.
pD: Talk about when you're on the court; it's not always easy for guys to connect as people, and there's not always a culture on teams of encouraging each other. How did you focus on those attributes even when it might have been counter-cultural?
JD: I like to be vocal on the court whenever I play, which is pretty consistent from playing pickup to playing on a team with guys I've known for upwards of ten years. I think, for me, that ability to talk and connect with people transcends basketball. So for me, the goal is not to develop people into better basketball players, but into better people. So from there, it ends up being more of, what is the right thing to say in that situation? So what has been really consistent is how I choose my words carefully.
pD: A lot of times, wanting to be the leader who encourages teammates and to connect with people isn't the main priority of a team. So as a leader and team player, how do you continue to make that a priority when it doesn't necessarily line up with the team's goals?
JD: It's similar to what I mentioned earlier; it transcends basketball. So the fact that it is counter-cultural, if your teammate does something poorly or makes a mistake, the end objective is not to see them as someone who failed as a basketball player, but to look at them as someone who has value as a human being.
Their primary identity is as a person with value
This is a complete left turn from what we've been talking about, but has really shaped my life; I've worked a lot with kids with disabilities, and we always refer to people with special needs as "people with special needs," as opposed to a special needs person. The reasoning is that you use person-first language, which means that their primary identity is in being a person, not their diagnosis or how society perceives them. In the same way, basketball has really trained my mind around that worldview, where if someone makes a mistake, yeah, a lot of people on the team might be mad, but I have to continue to remind myself that their primary identity is in being a person that has value, and I need to address them as such, instead of someone who just completely blew a game. That level of understanding really pushed me.
pD: You've talked about how these qualities, wanting to bring out the best in people, seeing them as people, served you in Richmond, and reinforced each other in your work with people with special needs. How else have you seen these traits carry over into other parts of life?
JD: The best way I can present it is through my work. I work in nonprofit fundraising and development. A majority of the work that I've done, in this current role as Director of Donor Relations for the Community Foundation of Northern Virginia, includes relationship with anyone in any number of ways, but my biggest responsibilities in this role, and in past roles, is stewarding and encouraging donors.
We have this thing called the donor life cycle, which goes through: Ask, Thank, and Report. Those second and third steps tie into stewarding and encouraging donors, so what that means is my ability to communicate to donors, "Hey, you are doing amazing work in this community for these specific populations, and this is how you're doing it," was really honed by my time playing basketball.
When I am encouraging someone, I want to be sure I let them know, "you are doing amazing work," and call out specifically why they're doing that amazing work and what the outcomes were. For instance, I can point out what they did, and because they did that, we are that much closer to winning the game. It probably didn't play out that intentionally when I was playing basketball, but looking back, it's something that led me to a desire to be in this role, but also really cultivated me to be in this space, this level of encouragement.
People respond well to encouragement, and really focusing on that has led me to really enjoy this part of the job. The second part of my job is conveying impact, reporting back the good that people have been doing in the community. That sort of leads to the idea of connecting with others, which was a part of something I learned while playing basketball, spending a lot of time with people.
Know what they care about
The way that your connection will be most meaningful is if you know what it is they care about, so basketball was a way of me understanding what people care about so that I can connect with them; that way, when I tell donors that the work that they contributed is important and critical to the community, it will be all the more meaningful if I know what is important to the donor. That was what basketball was for me, if I understand what my teammates care about, I connect with them on that level. That has been consistent outside of sports in my role working in development.
pD: What's one of the biggest challenges you have faced, and how did you overcome it?
JD: At the point where I was really struggling with my self-worth was one of my biggest challenges, and sports plays into it; I was finding my purpose and identity in sports, and then when I couldn't find a purpose in it anymore, I didn't know what to do with myself. So that became increasingly difficult when I had this thing that was my escape and go-to whenever I was struggling, and it was torn away, I didn't have it anymore.
Finding my identity outside of sports freed up that joy
For me, finding that identity and purpose outside of sports freed up that joy and that excitement that I could feel playing sports again. So that was probably the most difficult thing I've had to deal with so far.
Another thing I'll say is during sophomore year of college, at the peak of my athleticism, I suffered a third degree sprain on my ankle ligament, which potentially means I tore my ligament. So from there, I was at a point where I was feeling great, consistently dunking, throwing down reverses, it was a lot of fun, and I was just playing pickup at the rec center at college, and came down on my ankle wrong on a stupid play, and the ligament just tore.
From there, it was tough, because that sport and that team was where I had found a community and sense of purpose. So having that torn away became more than not just being able to play sports, it became an inability to spend a couple hours a week with people I really enjoy being with and that I care about. So that was a difficult transition, and where that ended, I found a vacuum that I could now fill and spend my time with getting more involved with my Christian fellowship and dedicating more time to academics or talking with my parents, all good things.
Things come slowly
Once I began my slow recovery, I learned a lot of patience, which I am not normally a patient person; it taught me that things come slowly, and I'm not even close to where I was beforehand, but it ties back to that original point: once I found my purpose elsewhere, basketball becomes an escape and is just something that is fun and enjoyable, nothing beyond that. It's not where I find my purpose or where I need to invest 100% of myself.
pD: Final question: as a parent now, what do you want your daughter, and other kids you interact with, to know as they're getting into sports?
JD: I want Hazel to know that she is the #1 draft pick in the WNBA in 2037, and that is not even a question. No, what I think I need to keep re-iterating is that: sports is not the end-all be-all, but that sports are an avenue to discover what the end-all, be-all is. The ability to play sports is amazing and wonderful, but it's not the point of life, and I think that I've been to a lot of AAU tournaments and high school basketball games, and I think a lot of parents, and a lot of fans, need to understand that as well.
Sports are an avenue to discover the end-all, be-all
There is more to life than sports; there's a person you're cheering on, or cheering against, and that identity supersedes anything else that they're doing. So I would encourage my daughter that sports are a good thing, just like academics or anything else. You can do well, you can excel at it, and that's great, but if you don't do well, it doesn't mean your value diminishes at all. You still need to work hard for the things you care about, but if it doesn't come, to be patient, and to know that there's more to your purpose and more to your value than sports. And I think that's the speech I'll give also when she's drafted #1 overall, so we'll see.
Execution
Josiah has recorded a video of a basketball workout that he uses to keep his skills sharp. We are privileged to have him share his knowledge and his story.
Comments