Before you even get into my words, please consider the voices of those who have lived the injustice of our American system. They have knowledge and guidance on the greater context of the racial divide, as well as what we can do differently.
Some resources that have been enlightening for me include:
Trevor Noah discussing the connection between police brutality against POC and the protests and violence that have occurred in response.
Rachel Cargle illustrating how language subtly shapes our perception of different races and their interactions.
Now to a bystander's perspective...
Ever since the murder of George Floyd, countless other stories of victimization and retaliation have bombarded my feed. It is truly impossible for me to imagine what life must be like for African-Americans, where the second half of the label does not provide the protections that it should.
The stories now being told of young Black men and women to always behave a certain way, or to stay in certain neighborhoods, or dress a certain way, or speak a certain way, are mind-blowing. Everyone learns expectations of behavior, of course, but for most, it is not a matter of survival. We might worry about losing an opportunity or making a bad impression on someone; we don't worry about getting murdered for saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't have to worry about being killed because someone else has the wrong impression of me.
As an Asian-American, I have the dubious privilege of being part of the model minority. While stereotypes still abound, the stakes of those stereotypes are not the same for me. It has been possible for me to close my ears and eyes to injustice because it did not impact me directly. That has to end. In Chinese culture, our children call our friends uncles and aunties. Well, our uncles and aunties are being hurt and killed, and I cannot be OK with it.
As a counselor, I have a tendency to want to help, to want to do something right away for someone who's hurting. I've had to think and re-think, however, that right now, listening may be the most important first step. It may be easy to talk about how "I know some Black people," and feel like I'm off the hook, but counselors understand the distinction between knowing someone and knowing someone. We spend one full semester learning to listen because that is how you get to know someone, by hearing their perspective on things and validating their pain, their motivations, their hopes. That is how empathy grows. That is what we need more of.
As a Christian, it is wrong for me to be OK with how things are. If I claim to follow Jesus, I need to spend time with who Jesus spent time with, and serve those he served. Those who were culturally, religiously, and financially well-off at the time said: "Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners"(Luke 7:34). The culturally well-off made an arbitrary distinction between their sin and someone else's sin, their character and someone else's character, so that they could feel better about themselves. Jesus, however, targeted those who were outcasts, those without privilege, and who were considered inferior. His disciples included fishermen, a tax collector, and a thief, among others. If I call Jesus Lord and Master, but do not care for the oppressed, I am declaring myself better than He is: My attention, and my efforts, are better spent on "better" people. Jesus taught that "whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me" (Matthew 25:40b). Let's make it a point to serve those who are considered the least.
Whatever we might think about what is happening around us, it seems clear that there is pain to be experienced in the past, present, and future, if things do not change. It's not good enough anymore for me to say "it's not my pain," and leave it at that. This blog is in the business of sharing stories and spurring growth, and I seek for stories to be shared that inspire growth in our culture.
As individuals, let's make it a point to listen. Let our African-American brothers and sisters have the floor. We've held it long enough.
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